
SECOND DRAFT
BROMO MOUNTAIN
Bromo Mountain is one of famous tourism object in east java. It is still Active Mountain until now. As a tourism object, Mount Bromo becomes to draw because its status as mount has fire to which still active. Bromo has 2.392 meters height above that sea level stay in four regions, namely Sub-Province Probolinggo, Pasuruan, Lumajang, and Malang city.
Mount Bromo have a cauldron with diameter ± 800 meters (north-south) and ± 600 meters (east-west). While its danger area in the form of circle with radius 4 km from Bromo. Ocean sand cauldron center is tourism pledge from Mount Bromo, in cold mountain nature, we earn to see wide of grassy field and desert. While most awaited from Mount Bromo is when sunrise and sun set because it is true will be crystal clear looked to be and very beautiful. Although journey to Bromo very dusty, but lost to, because beauty of which is served by really extraordinary.
Seller food and beverage in sand ocean area usually have opened before at 3am, so that you have stood by ready for doing/conducting climb pass doorstep child culminate that famous bromo. Enjoy view until 9 am and you also can return to reach your departure town about 12 am. And if you being lost don't panic and continue journey ( more than anything else in the middle of thick fog ), await because usually start at 2 am – 3 am some rental horseman pass by quickly sand ocean area.
i think your paragraph is good enough ..
BalasHapusyou describe this place very clear with size about the mountain , and interesting place in there.
but i have suggestion for you..
in the first paragraph you should tell about culture in there like Ceremony of kasada,by the reason many people will interested to go there.
(120810489G)
By: Yulia Primita Sari
BalasHapus120810494G
- I think your topic sentence is good enough.
_ Your describe is very detail.
- about your grammar, there is little mistake, about use punctuation mark and conjunction less exact.
i think your paragraph is good enough, but i see some mistakes. no space in several words such as horsesteep, and other words.
BalasHapusbut so far is good.
I THINK YOUR PARAGRAPH IS GOOD AND GREAT
BalasHapusYOU TELL AND DESCRIBE ABOUT BROMO MOUNTAIN WITH CLEARLY AND VERY DETAIL....
Hmmm,,,
BalasHapusThat's good I think..
You described and explained about Mount Bromo clearly,,
After I read Your writing, I want to go to Mount Bromo Someday,,Because It sounds interesting.
So far your writing is good, but there are still some mistakes, for example you didnt use the correct punctuation mark.
But, it's Ok..
Commented by: Rulyana (120810493 G)
Your writing is interesting,,,even there some mistakes,,but so far your writing is good enough...
BalasHapusyou had explained a lot about bromo mountain,,,everyone who read will interest about it and want to visit there..
give my blog comment!
:)
by:Karina.R
i think your pragraph is good enough
BalasHapusand you describe is very interestinng about that
honestly i want to go there coz i've never visited it
i think after everyone read your writing, they interest about that
Hi.. Ria..
BalasHapusYour paragraph is so interested for me.
But you should do more practice with your grammar.
You describe bromo mountain so clearly. And You can make me interested to visit that place.
Just that.. don't forget to give me comment..
Commented by : Pratiwi Ramandita 120810487G
your paragraph good enough, but it will be more interest if u describe n explain about the interesting place not only write.
BalasHapusnadz-hometown.blogspot.com
Ahaaa.........
BalasHapusFor this topic, you describe about Bromo Mountain. How many did you go there?
Yeach.... I think Your describe is good. And What's different between Bromo mountain and Bromo Mount ?
I think That all my comment and see U again.
By Hery Purwanto (120810484G)
i like your paragaraph because you describe that so clearly. .
BalasHapusand what the meaning of " unlucky sub-province" ????????
commented by : Rico ( 120810490 G )
I like your writing...
BalasHapusyou can describe more specific about bromo mountain,.
commented by : elok (120810486G)
your paragraph is quite good.
BalasHapusbut i find a mistake in your last paragraph.
> seller food and beverage ...
it should be:
> food and beverage seller ...
so far it's great
by 120810185g